WHY, MAYBE, I WISHED
by swimlets3
Summary: Juliet can't take it anymore. based off the song why by rascal flats. better than the summary sounds i think... i am not sure if its romance or not


I do not own psych or the song why by rascal flats. This is really au and maybe ooc I hope it's not too bad I'd like reviews as well. I HOPE YOU ENJOY

_**It must've been in a place so dark you couldn't feel the light reachin' for you through that stormy cloud now here we are gathered in our little hometown this can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd. **_

I didn't realize the pain you were going through. I had no idea _**he**_ pushed you into darkness. I wished at that time I was really a psychic. Maybe I could have stopped you. Maybe told you how I felt about you. You were always the best part of my day. When I see you sitting at your desk or talking on the phone, my heart skips a beat. Maybe if I told you this then you wouldn't have done what you did. Maybe if you realized you were loved, admired, and cared for this wouldn't have happened. Maybe if I wasn't stupid and saw what _**he**_ did to you, what _**he**_ said, how much it destroyed you. Maybe I could have saved you. **MAYBE.**

_**Oh why that's what I keep askin was there anything I could have said or done oh I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul God only knows what went wrong and why you'd leave the stage in the middle of the song.**_

Like I said before I wished I would've realized you were masking the pain _**he**_ caused you. Maybe if I had known do you think I could've helped you? Why couldn't you talk to me? Why couldn't I open my eyes and see _**he**_ was destroying you a little at a time? Why did this happen? Why did you give up? Why did you leave? Why did you leave me? These are questions I asked myself for the last couple of days.** WHY?**

_**Now in my mind I keep you frozen as a seventeen year old roundin third to score the winning run you always played with passion no matter what the game when you took the stage you shined just like the sun.**_

I remember the first__ever softball game we played together. We were down by one run and have two strikes with a player on second base and you were up to bat. When you hit the ball and made a home run, you had one the game for us. I've never seen you smile so big. We went out to celebrate our win. The night was going great; you were smiling and having a fantastic time. I knew at that point of time I was falling in love. A few hours later and we were still partying and having a blast. When _**he**_ came up to you whispered in your ear. After he left you weren't smiling anymore and it looked like you had tears in your eyes. You looked like all the love you had a few minutes ago was gone and you were just empty inside. You came to me and told me you weren't feeling well and that you were going to go home. I asked if everything was okay. You were so close to crying when you answered yes. I wanted to follow you but I thought maybe you just needed to be alone. Now I wished I had. I wished I told you I liked you that I was here for you. So I could have stopped _**him**_ then before it got worse. I wished I could of stopped you. **I WISHED.**

_**Oh why that's what I keep askin and was there anything I could have said or done oh I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul oh God only knows what went wrong and why you'd leave the stage in the middle of the song.**_

The day after the softball game, you came to work but you weren't yourself, you seemed so lost and alone. I wanted to tell you I was here for you. I was headed up to tell you but _**he **_showed up and said something to you I couldn't quit hear, and then he left. After he left you were in tears. When you noticed me looking at you, you wiped off the tears. During the movement I could see cuts on your arms. I was scared thinking there was no way you would have cut yourself, because that's not you. Again you saw me looking at you, you shrugged and said cats. Why didn't I question you more about it? Why did I believe you? Why couldn't I see that every time _**he **_said something to you the day before that the next day more cats attacks the day after? **WHY?**

_**Now the oak trees are swayin in the earth autumn breeze the golden sun is the shining on my face the tangled thoughts I hear a mockingbird sing this old world really aint that bad a place.**_

Three years later you looked like it had been ten years. You were still the most amazing women in the world, and the most beautiful women to me. But you had stopped laughing, you don't even smile anymore. You don't go and hang out with me and Gus, and you don't joke around with me either. All you do now a days is work, and sometimes you barley do that. You looked like everyone whoever loved you were gone and you were all alone in this world. You couldn't tell that I loved you more than anything in this world. I tried telling you but you wouldn't believe that I loved you; you only believed that I was playing a sick joke on you. With each passing day, with more conversations with _**him**_ the more scars on your wrist. I could tell with each passing day I was losing you that someday soon you wouldn't exist. I tried talking to you about it but you said you were fine that there was nothing to worry about. But I didn't believe you, so I asked if you ever thought of killing yourself. You looked right at me the same exact way you use to look at me and said of course not, and for some strange reason I believed you. I don't know why I did but I did and I feel completely stupid for believing you then. I wished I would've stopped this from happening three years earlier. I wished I told you I loved/cared about you earlier. I wished I could've protected you from _**him**_. I wished I didn't believe you when you said you never thought about killing yourself. I wished in the end I did everything different from what I did. **I WISHED.**

___**Oh why there's no comprehending and who am I to try to judge or explain oh but I do have one burning question who told your life wasn't worth the fight they were wrong they lied and now you're gone and we cried.,**_

When we found you all cold and pale I felt sick. I wanted to cry, throw up, and to die all at once. I couldn't believe you killed yourself. The worst part about this is part of me wasn't all that shocked, and that made me hate myself. No one wanted to work today, everyone felt ill that one of their own would do such a thing. I mean a part of all of us knew something like this could've happened; you were just so far gone. There was only one person that showed no sign of sorrow, who actually looked happy, _**him**_. The one who started it all, the one person who started all this pain and suffering, _**he**_ was straight across from me and all I wanted to do was kill _**him.**_ He took you from me. He destroyed you till there was nothing left for you to live for. I never hated anyone like I hate _**him**_ right now. I hate _**him**_ for doing this to you. But then I get this really sickening thought I was part of your suicide as well. I knew the pain _**he **_was calling you, but I did absolutely nothing to stop it. Maybe had I stopped _**him**_, me and you could've been together, completely in love with one another, without a care in the world. Maybe I could have saved you from_** him**_, protected you. Maybe I could've looked closely and saw the damage _**he**_ had done. Maybe if I did everything I could to have stopped the damage _**he**_ inflicted, you would be here messing around, and having a good time. **MAYBE.**

_**Cause it's not like you to walk away in the middle of a song your beautiful song your absolutely beautiful song.**_

So here I am Shawn Spencer giving you Juliet O'hara this eulogy today. I want you to know that I love you more than anything in this world, and how sorry I am I didn't do anything to protect you from, _**Lassiter,**_ the man who was supposed to protect you. But all he did was bring you down, I am so sorry that I let him get away with it for so long. The only sort of good thing that comes out of this is the fact the he is in jail now, but that does absolutely nothing to bring you back. Maybe none of this would've of happened if I didn't tell on Lassiter and his old partner. I wouldn't have met you but you would still be alive. I wish I could of done things way different than what I did. I don't blame you for not believing me when I told you I loved you, when I did nothing to save you. Why couldn't you open up your heart to me? I could've and would've of protected for you. This goodbye speech all comes down to three words Juliet and if you are listening at all you would know what I am talking about, but I will say them anyways. Here are the three words _**MAYBE, I WISHED, and last but not least WHY?**_


End file.
